“Uh oh...I think this is college music” (during the Flaming Lips' ‘She Don't Use Jelly’)
“Is That Dave Mustaine?” (It was Tori Amos)
“Check it out, he looks like the cowardly Lion” (on Metallica's James Hetfield)
“Someone tell that fat roadie to get off the stage” (during Accept's ‘Balls to the Wall’)
“Um, is this football?” (trying to figure what they're watching during the opening chords to 2 Unlimited's ‘Get Ready for This’)
“If you play this stuff backwards, it says ‘This sucks!’” (on INXS' ‘Devil Inside’)
“You're white!” (during the ‘I could be black I could be white’ bit in PiL's ‘Rise’)
“What language are they speaking? ... You know those asswipes the Beatles? Those dudes ruined music” (on Blur's ‘Parklife’)
“If this video was, like, a turd...it would be the same thing” (on Journey's ‘Separate Ways’)
“If you're gonna be horrible, at least, like, you know, kick ass. Like Jesus Lizard! I mean, they suck, but they kick ass!” “I think these guys are just lazy.” “Yeah, really. They're too lazy to rock, and they're too lazy to clean the tub.” (to Pavement's ‘Rattled By the Rush’)
“That dude right there. I think that's that dude who drives the snack truck now.” (on the dark-haired dude in Poison)
“These guys live on the edge” “Yeah, the edge of Wuss Cliff!” (on Winger)
“That dude has his eyes sewn shut!” “Maybe he saw something really horrible. Like that Winger video.” (on Alice on Chains)
Faith No More's ‘Easy’: “I know it sounds funny, but I just can't stand the pain...” Beavis: “That doesn't sound funny”
“Like right now, David wishes he had his old job back” “Like right now, David is trying to convince some chick he used to be the singer from Van Halen” (riffing on Van Halen's ‘Right Now’ while watching David Lee Roth ham it up in ‘Just a Gigolo/Nobody Love Me’)